And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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