Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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