Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize