Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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