Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
