I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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