it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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