he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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