my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
