I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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