when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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