I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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