Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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