why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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