maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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