I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize