I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
