come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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