Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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