I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
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honey bunches of taint.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize