Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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