We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
