You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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