I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
