I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
