Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
