Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
