I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Say something about gay babies.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize