We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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