Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
