After last night, I could never be a politician.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
