scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
