so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
