i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
