doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
