they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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