when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
so much tequila, so little girl.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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