my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
