Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
