He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
