Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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