Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize