By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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