he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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