Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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