So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
