yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
