My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
