Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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