I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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