i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
