Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
