you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
