if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
