Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
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