i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
