A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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