hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
