Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
