We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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