He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
