I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
