Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
