She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
