The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
