They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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