I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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