I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
